Like it or not, back-to-school during the pandemic is looming large in the United States. Nothing else gives rise to the perfect storm of dread, uncertainty, anticipation, confusion, and maybe even relief. In many circles, it’s been the main topic of discussion for weeks now.
Depending on where you live, you might be facing another round of full distance learning, hybrid learning with unpredictable schedules, or full classroom learning. You might have multiple working adults in the home competing with your young learners for space, quiet and bandwidth. Or you might be a single parent whose work requires you be out of the house, scrambling for the oversight and childcare we used to be able to depend on from schools.
Maybe you’re worried for your child’s mental health as lockdown and isolation continue. Maybe you’re wondering how (if?) you’ll cope with being forced into the home-school monitor/teacher/hold-it-together role again.
Many are scrambling to pull together resources, support and even a learning pod for their kids. At the same time I hope everyone reading this is also reflecting on how we can ensure full resources and support to all the kids in our communities, continuing the press to eliminate learning-outcome inequities.
The spectrum of strong feelings about back-to-school makes a lot of sense: As a society we’ve never faced such a long-term, widespread health danger before and the choices that are safest directly conflict with a lot of decades-old norms about schooling, work, success, and community behavior. There’s no established playbook about how to balance all this successfully or easily. We’re stringing up the tightrope as we walk it. Conditions are ripe for uncomfortable feelings, a sense we’ll fall at any moment, or even avoidance and denial.
The good news is that you can start to take control of the situation by noticing and reflecting on your reactions and feelings and then setting conscious intention for your choices and actions. Consider doing some self-coaching to help you show up as the person you want to be in all this.
If you brought this topic to a coaching session, here are some of the questions I might ask you. Choose questions that are relevant to you and make some time for yourself to write and reflect on your answers:
How you’re feeling right now
- What emotions are you having about back-to-school during COVID-19?
- Where do these feelings show up in your body?
- When you feel those emotions, what thoughts or beliefs do you have?
- When you have those thoughts, what actions do you take?
- What happens when you make decisions rooted in emotions you find uncomfortable?
- How would you like to make decisions?
Ideas about kids’ success
- How do I define success for my child?
- What matters and what doesn’t matter about how others define success?
- What are some alternate ways I might define success?
- How might I foster the success and resilience of kids across my community?
- In what ways does community success support my child’s success and my own success?
What is important?
- What’s my priority for my child this fall, and why is that important?
- What’s my priority for myself this fall, and why is that important?
- In what ways are these priorities in conflict? In what ways complementary?
Expectations
- In what ways do I need to teach my employer how to treat me?
- Which “shoulds” about work or school no longer serve me?
- What might happen if I let go of one or more “shoulds”?
- What do I wish I could ease off from?
- What benefits might I get from easing off?
- How might I address obstacles to easing off or letting go of “shoulds”?
Assumptions
- What assumptions am I making?
- To what degree are those assumptions guaranteed to come true?
- School and work operated in certain ways pre-pandemic. What says they must work the same way always?
Potential
- Where do I need courage? How might I foster it?
- What helps me feel connected to others in my community?
- How aligned to my deepest values are the choices I’m making?
- What higher ideals do I want to stand for?
- What would happen if I made decisions out of a sense of possibility?
Taking action
- What intention will you set for yourself this fall?
- What’s a reasonable step (big or small) you’ll take in the next week to take action on your reflections here?
- How would you like to be accountable to taking that step?
Isolating as the pandemic feels, in the big-picture sense we are all going through this together, and thus we have an opportunity to support one-another, support our children, support our schools and support our communities. Thank you for taking the time to self-reflect and to approach work and family this fall with thoughtful intention.
First published on LinkedIn, August 2020.